Purple Touched In My Safe Place

He was kind,
He was gentle,
He hugged soo tight, so lovingly,
He smiled,
He prayed.

He was in the water when I went under.

Old man died buried and crucified with Christ. Came up a new man. Came up to be tainted.

He loved me,
He loved me,
He lusted me.

Then he touched.

He reached out his words and they entangled me. He dispatched his words and they took me captive.

They undressed my nude innocence. They painted over what was already red, painted it black, filled in the preexisting graves and dug a well.

A deep deep dark sinking, yet waters rising, well.

Then he touched.

He bought me gifts.

Gifts that I purchased with acceptance. More like a barter and I had failed to ask, what am I trading you for?

I rejected them. He saw me rejecting him.

Forced love with forced gifts I wanted never to afford.

I ran to my escape but he stole it.

Then he touched.

Lips recall the invasion. Watery troops stampeding my face. Disgusted. This holy rod extended filth.

The things that made me woman,  descended into the well.

He continued to touch.

This holy mountain casted deadly shadows. This holy water stained my robe.

I came up clean to be tainted. Seal broken and forced to remain shut.

His touch instilled fear.

My caring heart barricaded my voice. His wife was fragile. His children were my friends. I denied my self freedom. I denied my self justice. My silence refused me a fair trial.

I stood before the jury, found guilty of unforgiveness. My voice had been tardy.

This jury had a name more worth preserving than restoring my treasures.

I ran to my escape but they stole it.

My safe place was now the den of thieves. Stained with my innocence. Marred by the waters of my broken well.

I found freedom but was arrested during worship, put in shackles during fellowship.

He touched. He stained. He tainted. He unearthed my safe place. He stole my Jesus.

I couldn’t love Him after he asked me to love him after he loved me in all the wrong ways.

I found life but the darkness claimed me and dragged my peace across many open fires.

But He loved me. He comforted me. He recovered my looted pieces. He made me love.

I became love.
I became forgiveness.
I became my freedom.

I became, after He undid me.
I became even though he undid me.

I was purple touched in my safe place but there I found him to be REAL.

I became forgiveness.


Rae Sonson,
May 20, 2016,


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