Mother May I?

May I live in your heart again?

Can I be of your flesh once more?

May I feel your warmth again? A loving embrace? A kind honest smile in my direction ?

Can I be of your womb again?

May I see your mind again? May I see your mind, fullstop?

Can I get to know you?

May I be permitted entrance to the courts of your truths, of your struggles, of your strengths and visions for the future?

Can I hear from your voice within?

May I take 1, 2, 3 steps forward with you?

Can I hop skip and jump a few piggy wiggies and 2 baby steps in your joy in celebrating me?

Mother may I still be permitted to play even though you’ve turned too soon and the rules dictate that I move a few steps back or return to the start?

Mother may I banana split across the space between us into peace with you?

Mother may I umbrella twirl beyond our errs and proceed anew?

Mother may I start over? With you?

Can we go back to the future I dreamt of in the past and be Lorelai and Rory? Emily and Lorelai will even suffice! Even they grew stronger.

I want to tell you everything. I want to trust you with my heart. I want to be fearless in my faith in your instinct to protect me.

I want to believe that after the eyes have departed that you’ll still love me. That you’ll still be concerned with my well being, with how I’ve grown, with how I’ve developed, and even with how my intellect expands.

Mother may I still matter to you when I’m out of sight?

Can I be your child again?

Can I not just be the one but rather a part of four?

Mother may I be allowed to be myself in your presence? Can I be enough for you? Can I cease to change suits now? The tailoring is too rigid.

Mother may I live in your heart again?

Mother was I ever there?

Was I miscarried?

©iamakingsonson

Rae Sonson,
June 21, 2016,
9:17 a.m.