I FINALLY went witnessing with Elder M.
I went Jehovah’s Witness on em (I said that doing some weird action moves in my mind, I’m quite peculiar, I know, aren’t we all).
We went out to share the gospel of Jesus, the love of God, the good news and to invite folks to worship and relationship and the health fair that’s tomorrow.
What you should know is, witnessing, public speaking, people looking at me expectantly, scares me. A LOT. However, what I’ve come to realize over the years, is that I’m only scared on the way to the action but once I remove myself and just do God’s will, I’m myself, the Christ in me. I’m Him. His arms extended. I’m bold and confident, courageous even. Anyway. This is about Rasheed.
So I met Rasheed today. Seemingly intelligent young man, quite outspoken, eloquent even. But bruised. He spoke passionately. He didn’t want to hear about God. The thing the bible instructs us to do when God is rejected is to ‘brush the dust of that place off your feet’ and keep it moving. Don’t take that mess elsewhere. Leave it where it is.
But he was different. He wasn’t rejecting God. He understood the message. It was us that he was afraid of. He was scared of the people and immediately I felt his pain. I understood his hurt. Someone hurt Rasheed. One of us. One of us “bible thumping Jesus freaks” hurt the soul Christ died for and now he’s hurt and angry. He didn’t say those words, those are mine.
One of us ‘representatives’ of Christ misrepresenting God hurt him. He made us in His image so one of us arms and legs and lungs on the body of Christ the church, malfunctioned and caused this beautiful soul unnecessary pain. I was hurt for him.
The Spirit of God let me feel his pain. So I touched him. I held onto him. I needed him to feel the presence of love. I needed him to take some of the water from my well. I needed him to take some of the virtue of Christ within me. So he could be free. I felt his hurt. Someone cut him deeply. Wounded him, bruised him. I thought Christ was bruised for us. I thought Christ was already wounded for us. So who took it upon themself to cut him afresh, to shed blood made innocent by the sacrifice of the Holy Lamb, the very Son of God. Who hurt God’s son? Who?
I wanted so badly to turn and go running to Rasheed. Just to apologize. To let him know I was sorry we let him down. That I was sorry we showed him human love and left God’s purity out of the exchange. I wanted to apologize that we misrepresented the whole relationship of God and we brought him religion.
Rasheed I am sorry. I am sorry I was busy sinning when I could have prayed for others going out, when I could have asked God to bless souls coming home to Him and to chasten his children. Maybe you wouldn’t have been hurt. Maybe you could have been spared. But I needed to be reminded. You needed to experience this to understand the difference between man’s call to church houses and filling up seats and the beauty of relationship that cannot be shaken by malfunctioning people.
I’m sorry we’ve been dysfunctional. I am so sorry we pushed you away.
I am praying for your safe return to your place amongst the 99. Your Father and Friend is coming to get you. He’s heard your heart, he’s ready to heal you, let them go. I am sorry.
With Love, Rae.
June 24, 2016,