When I Wake

I’m tempted to ask, God fight this battle for me!?

I’m tempted to say, Lord just make me move.

But with every thought I hear, you’ve already won.

With every bathroom plea, you only need to stand.

Yet here I am STILL eating amongst the swines.

Wallowing in my inability to remain faithful to my love relationship with the maker of my heart.

Heavy hearted that when I wake up You are still here.

You still love me the same.

I am choosing to cling to weakness when You are my strength. My strength.

You are my peace and my beauty. You are my hiding place and my true oasis. You are my head lifted up and my shoulders strong. You are my pursuit and my reward. My only need.

I’m just tempted to ask that You fight this battle for me…that You make me say no and walk away and that You make me say yes to Your hand guiding me. 

But, I have to stand. I have to choose to choose You. You will not be forceful in Your love towards me.

Help me repent before I lay down that I sleep in confidence that should You come during my slumber, You’ll still be here when I wake. 

Lord, as much as I know that You will not leave me I’m tempted to ask, can you please still be here when I wake…? Can You still just tarry so I have opportunity to turn?



Rae Sonson,
July 11, 2016,
15:20 p.m.


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