First of all:
That thing was NEVER meant to kill you!
It tried but it couldn’t!
What am I talking about?
EVERYTHING. Everything that you have ever felt was too much, too heavy or even felt like you had too little of.
Second of all:
I used to be so afraid of happy.
But just so you know, God is awesome at being God.
When other people made choices that derailed us. When we made choices that got us stuck. God was still God.
He is still God right now. Right in this moment where you feel like the blind faith he is asking you to exercise is a little too extreme for your taste. Right in this moment where the fear you won’t admit you feel is suffocating you and crippling you just a little more each day.
He is here and he is still God and still pretty darn good at being just that; Himself.
So, just so you know, it’s okay to be afraid of what will happen after you surrender to whatever He said to do.
It is okay to be more than a little nervous about just how much He trusts you with the things he has already put inside of you, as well as in your hands.
Just as long as you move.
Standing still when He says ‘go’ is the ‘no’ you think you have never told him.
Remaining silent when He bids you to speak is the rebellion you thought only the Israelites showed.
Believing that you can’t when He said you could, is the same as calling him a liar. Has he ever lied to you before?
And again, just so you know, everything you will ever need is hidden in Him, waiting on your surrender.
So, I found a remedy to my fear of happiness. It was the joy I found in Jesus. It isn’t affected by anything but my proximity to God and my commitment to upholding my end of the relationship between myself and Him.
I also realized that all the things that could have and should have killed me or continue to cloud my vision and my perception of self, the closer I got to Jesus and knowledge of the Cross, I came to realize that none of them had that power unless I gave it to them.
So, that thing can’t kill you David!
Pharaoh no longer has God’s permission to hold you captive!
It’s time to behead that giant!
It is time to go home.
And just so you know, God has been awaiting your return.
Come home, you have plenty company- the entire angel army! And me!
August 2, 2017.